The Art
by Aleh
Summary: Due to events occurring shortly after the Neko-ken training, Ranma is no longer Genma's son. In fact, a kindly woman convinced her father to adopt him... unfortunately, his new family is even wierder, and Genma still plays a role in his life....
1. It Begins

Untitled 

"So," commented the silver-haired pseudo-god, "this pool simulates possible timelines?" 

"Yeah," said the cat, "a while ago, I used it to run a little bet. Lots of fun, really." 

"Oh. Cool. It OK if I play around with it?" 

"Of course." 

"Good. Make a change right... here." 

"You've GOT to be kidding." 

"Nope." 

"Spoken Words" 

Telepathy 

The Art 

by 

Aleh 

"WHAT?!?" yelled the three sisters who were sitting at the table. 

"Yes," commented their father, "He's the son of a very good friend of mine. His name is Saotome Ranma. If one of you were to marry him and continue the dojo, our family's legacy would be secure." 

"Tell us a little about him, father," suggested the oldest. 

"Well, I can't really say all that much. I've never met him." 

"WHAT?!?" exclaimed all three of the sisters. 

"Come on, father, you have to know SOMETHING," prodded the middle sister. 

"Well..." As the father was about to continue, he heard a knocking at the door. He dropped everything in a fashion that was quite typical for anyone who knew him and ran to the door, accompanied by his middle daughter... 

"Growf." 

...and promptly ran back into the house, being chased by a highly singed panda. The panda, noticing their fear, ran into the kitchen, from which emerged an old man in a ratty white gi. 

The father recognized the old man. "Genma!" 

"Soun!" 

The two were promptly embracing. 

"So, Saotome, where's your son?" 

Genma looked a little sheepish. "Come on in, boy!" 

In response, a young man of around sixteen walked in. He was dressed in a Chinese-style outfit, consisting of black pants and a red sleeveless shirt. His black hair was tied into a pigtail, which he was fidgeting with sheepishly. On his forehead was an odd birthmark, which was shaped like an inverted triangle, which had been cut in half vertically. There were matching diamond-shaped birthmarks on each cheek, as well. 

"Hi, I'm Omigami Ranma. Sorry about this." 

"At last, our families can be joined!!" shouted Soun as he embraced Ranma. 

"Umm... Tendo-san," he replied, "I am not Genma-baka's son." 

THAT got Soun to let go quickly. "What do you mean?" 

A few minutes and a few explanations later, Ranma and the three sisters were sitting and talking. 

"So, let me get this straight," Nabiki commented, "Saotome-san, here, kidnapped you and forced you to come here?" 

"Yep. Something about fulfilling a pledge between his family and yours. Problem is, I'm NOT a member of his family." 

"Then why'd he bring you here?" 

"When his son was ten, this moron wrapped him in fish sausages and threw him into a pit of starving cats." 

"WHAT?!?!" exclaimed the three sisters, including Kasumi. 

"Yes, well, he was trying to teach him a forbidden martial arts technique called the neko-ken. The idiot didn't even bother trying to find out why it was forbidden." 

"Umm..." asked a pale Kasumi, "Why was it forbidden?" 

"Well..." A brief explanation of the mechanics of the neko-ken later, Akane was violently retching, and Nabiki and Kasumi looked more than a little queasy. 

"Anyway," continued Ranma, "a kind lady came by Ranma while he was in his feral state. She knew of the neko-ken, and was... more than a little upset at Genma." 

"I can see why," remarked Akane, between retches. 

"Yes, well, she convinced her father to adopt young Ranma, and, well, here I am." 

"So," Nabiki returned, "you USED to be his son?" 

"In essence, yes. I've legally renounced the Saotome name, and as far as the world is concerned, Saotome Ranma died in that pit." 

Nabiki sighed in comprehension. "And Genma doesn't care about that." 

"Bingo." 

"So how'd he force you to come here?" 

Ranma pointed to the bracer on his left wrist. 

"This is the Manacle of Hades. It's an ancient magical artifact which was designed to bind the gods. While I know some magic, I'm not powerful enough to resist it." 

"You seriously expect us to believe that?" 

"Hey, my sister cursed Genma to turn into a panda. If that isn't enough proof that magic exists, I don't know what is." 

"Good point," Nabiki acknowledged. 

"Why don't you just take it off?" Kasumi asked. 

"The magic won't let me. I can't take it off unless the one who put it on my wrist, namely Genma, gives me permission." 

Kasumi smiled and made an offer. "Would you like me to?" 

"You can't, Kasumi, but thanks. The magic only allows me or the one who put it on me to remove it." 

"Are there any limits to its power?" asked Nabiki. 

"Yes," Ranma replied, "The bracer prevents the wearer from attacking the one who put it on him, and forces them to obey three commands. Genma's already used his." 

"If you don't mind..." 

"Of course. The first was to 'come with' him." 

"So that's why you're here." 

"Yep," Ranma replied, "the second was to not ask my family for help, or even to contact them. They'd be able to rescue me, and ARE aware of my situation, but they can't do anything without me asking... it's sort of a catch-22." 

"I can see that. And the third?" 

"I'm not allowed to tell you just who my family is." 

"Why would he waste a command like that?" 

"I can't tell you. I'll try dropping hints, though. Please, if you can figure it out... it'll be a great help." 

"I'll try," promised Nabiki. 

Ranma briefly looked as though he was struggling with something before he continued. "The marks on my face have something to do with it. They're..." At this point, he started struggling more with each word. "not... birthmarks... exactly... t-they... are... t-th-the... sym... symb... symbol... of... o-our..." With that, he passed out of exhaustion. 

"Oh, my!" exclaimed Kasumi. 

When Ranma came to, everyone was gathered at a table. 

"So," said Soun, "it's been decided. Ranma will marry Akane." 

Just as Akane was about to protest, Ranma spoke up. 

"No... no, I don't think so." 

Genma thwacked him on the back of the head. "Boy! This is a matter of honor!" 

Ranma, who was still drowsy, replied simply. "Your honor, Genma, not mine." 

Genma turned to Soun. "See how thoroughly he's been brainwashed?" 

Soun nodded. "Indeed, Saotome." 

Ranma turned to Nabiki for a moment. As he did so, she heard Ranma's voice in her head. Is your father an idiot or just gullible? 

Nabiki turned towards Ranma in surprise at the unexpected sensations. "HOW did you do that?" 

I simply projected my thoughts into your mind. Don't worry, I'm not a mind reader. I can't hear your thoughts unless they're specifically directed at me. 

"Oh," Nabiki said, more than a little shaken. 

Well, Ranma said in her head again, Which is it? 

Nabiki turned over to where Soun and Genma were taking out the sake to celebrate, then tried directing a thought at Ranma. Just gullible, I think. 

I see you've figured out that little trick. 

Nabiki looked puzzled. What did I do? 

It's the intention. If you want me to hear your thought, I do. It's another thing about my fami... fami... fami... oh, crap. As he said the last part, he passed out once more. 

When he came to yet again, Nabiki was sitting next to him. "Hello, Ranma. Welcome back." 

"How long?" 

"Only about an hour or so." 

"This doesn't seem like you." 

"Whatever do you mean?" 

"You seem genuinely concerned, and have been going out of your way to help me." 

"Oh." 

"I know your reputation, and it just doesn't match your behavior." 

"Well, I could say that there's a limit to what even I can tolerate, and it would be true, or I could say that your presence is hurting my family, and I put my family above everything else, which is also true. But the honest answer is that I'm curious, Omigami. I know you'd just tell me what's going on if you could, and I've seen what even hinting has cost you..." 

"Thanks." 

"No problem. I'm not doing this for you." 

"That's what I'm thanking you for." 

"Huh?" 

"Think it through. Where's Akane? I need to talk to her." 

"She's in the dojo, practicing." 

With that, Ranma excused himself and left. 

In the dojo, Akane was in the middle of smashing a stack of cinderblocks when she noticed Ranma watching. 

"So, what do you think?" 

Ranma smirked. "Second-dan level Kempo skills. Your style depends strongly on brute force and puts heavy emphasis on the ability to fight multiple unskilled opponents in a short amount of time. Although you aren't very good at it, you subconsciously use your ki to enhance your blows, primarily using rage-aspected ki." 

At this point, Akane was gaping. 

"Your potential for ki-manipulation is high; I suspect it's genetic. In fact, I've only encountered three humans with a higher potential, and one of them 

is your sister." 

"Wha... what?" 

"Kasumi has an extremely high affinity for ki-manipulation. In fact, I've met gods with lesser ki-abilities. Hers is, quite simply, the largest ki-potential I've ever seen in a human." 

Akane was nearly in shock. 

"Anyway, back to your style, you're somewhat stalled in improving your skills due to a lack of a competent instructor. You're largely self-taught, and it shows. You're bordering on becoming a stage-one martial artist, and only need a slight push to go over that edge. If you'd like, I can give you that push." 

"You're offering to teach me?" 

"Yes." 

"Why?" 

"The Art is my domain," he started, much to Akane's puzzlement, "and you show potential. Besides, I'm stuck here, and I don't know anyone nearby who can give me a decent spar." 

Now Akane was confused. "What do you mean?" 

Ranma simply tapped his bracer. "I can't tell you. Sorry." 

Akane sighed. "Ok." 

Ranma grinned. "Good. Now, for the first lesson." 

"Oh, great," Akane thought, "what have I gotten into?" 

----------------- 

Watching through the well, the silver-haired pseudo-god shed a tear. "Brother... I never knew..." 

----------------- 

Later that night, Akane staggered into the house, covered in bruises. 

"Oh, my poor baby!" wailed Soun, looking up from a game of Shogi with Genma, "Who could have done this to you?" 

"He... he's a monster..." stammered Akane as she staggered to the furo. 

"Waaahhh!!!! What happened to my baby?!" her father wailed. 

As Genma started to comfort him, Ranma stuck his head in the door. "Hey, Soun, I noticed that you've been slacking off on Akane's training," he started, as Genma paled visibly, "So, I'm going to take it up. Hope you don't mind." 

Now it was Genma who needed comforting. "Now the families will never be joined!!" Genma started. 

Soun was startled out of his wailing at this. "Truly, Saotome, it can't be THAT bad!" 

"Tendo," Genma said, pale, "The Master has nothing on my son." 

Soun paled. "That bad?" 

"My son could defeat him effortlessly. He's THAT good, and his teaching methods match his skills. He once took a totally untrained boy and took him to at least a fifth-dan level in kempo overnight." 

Soun was now stammering. "M...my...my p...poor b... baby... Waaaahhh! What kind of horrors has he inflicted on my little girl in the name of the Art?!?" 

"I don't know, Tendo, and I don't want to find out." 

----------------- 

"You were right, Ranma," Akane said after she got out of the furo and tracked him down, "That WAS fun." 

"Yeah. They still haven't figured out that training doesn't have to be unbelievably harsh to be effective." 

"How did you do that, anyway?" 

"What?" 

"It's like... well, I could have sworn that we spent at least four or five hours in the dojo, but when I left, I saw that it had been only one." 

"Oh, I just sped up time in the dojo. It's a little spell I know that lets me do that. The spell I used slows aging, too, so don't worry about getting old from using it continuously." 

Nabiki nearly spat out her drink from where she was listening in. Even Akane looked a bit shaken up. 

"By the way, want me to heal those fake bruises?" 

----------------- 

"School?" Ranma asked at breakfast. 

"Yes," Genma said, "it should be a good chance to spend some time with your fiancee." 

"What fiancee?" Ranma replied. 

"Akane, of course!" exclaimed Soun. 

"Nope, not engaged." 

When Soun went into his demon-head attack, Ranma simply ignored it. 

----------------- 

"So, why are you going to school? You didn't really have to." 

"Three reasons. First, I have business there." 

"Oh? With who?" 

"A person named Kuno Tatewaki." 

"Ugh," Akane said in disgust, "What do you want with that pervert?" 

"He's been twisting and perverting my domain. I don't like that, and if I'm stuck here, I might as well take care of it." 

"Huh?" 

Ranma sighed. "I'm nearby, and he's been abusing the Art. I dislike that intensely." 

"Oh." 

"Secondly, it gives me the opportunity to stop the morning fights, should you want me to." 

"How?!?" 

"Simple. I give them a little taste of what I can do, and ask them nicely." 

"What?!?" 

"Akane, I'm better than Kuno. It's his declaration that started this mess. You do the math." 

"Oh. Well, thanks, but it's my problem. I'll deal with it." 

"Okay, but I'm taking Kuno, ok?" 

When they arrived at school, Akane realized that she had forgotten to ask about the third reason. 

----------------- 

"I HATE boys! HATE boys! Hate BOYS!!!!" 

As Akane shouted her usual battle cry, Ranma watched appreciatively. When she finished in less than half her usual time, he spoke. "Good improvement, but you're still leaving yourself too open. Now for..." 

At that, a rose came flying towards Akane. Ranma caught it. 

"Kuno," he said in disgust. 

"You!" Kuno yelled, pointing his bokken at Ranma, "You are being awfully familiar with Akane!" 

"Why shouldn't I be, Kuno? I'm her sensei." 

Murmurs escaped from the school. Kuno wasn't happy at the declaration, either. 

"What?!? Thou dare to teach the fair Tendo Akane?!?" 

"There's no daring involved." 

Kuno attacked. He would later regret doing so, as Ranma simply waved a hand towards him and he felt his entire body below the neck become stiff. 

"Release me from this foul spell, sorceror, so that I might smite thee!" 

"Kuno, that was a shiatsu technique. I threw a ki-blast at a pressure point, paralyzing you. If you want to see magic," he said, waving a hand and causing a barrel to appear and float above Kuno's head, "this barrel contains water from the Nyannichuan at Jusenkyo. If I release this, 

it will turn you into a girl." 

THAT shut Kuno up. "Now," Ranma continued, "you've been abusing the Art. I'm not happy about it. The Art is my domain." 

In school, Nabiki gasped as she heard Ranma's statement. Suddenly, everything clicked. How Ranma could know such powerful magic, how he was THAT good at the Art, the hints Ranma had been dropping, his telepathy, and most importantly, the name. Omigami. How obvious it was, now that she knew. 

Ranma, she thought towards him, you're a god, aren't you? 

Yep, he sent back, I'm glad you finally figured it out. We'll talk later, OK? 

Ok, Nabiki returned, then turned towards her associates. "In the future, never take a bet on him." 

Back on the field, Ranma was busy chewing Kuno out. "Had someone defeated Akane, that would have been no better than rape, you bastard. The challenges stop. Now. As for your punishment," Ranma said, waving his hand yet again, "That should do. I've removed all of your skill in Kendo. You will never fight again, at least with any ability." 

At Kuno's shocked expression, Ranma turned towards the school. "The shiatsu I used will wear off in about ten minutes. Good day." With that declaration, started to walk in. 

"Release me from thy hold, foul sorceror, so that I might smite thee, for I am the Blue Thunder of-" 

Suddenly, Kuno was hit by a lightning bolt. 

Ranma stopped walking for a moment. "Thanks, Raijin!" 

----------------- 

From where he was watching, the cat turned to his companion. "The depths of Genma's stupidity continue to amaze me." 

"Same here." 

----------------- 

In class, Kuno asked Nabiki about the 'foul magus' who had so humiliated him. 

"Just a moment, Kuno," she replied. Ranma? 

Yes, Nabiki? 

What should I tell Kuno? 

Whatever you want. He's just going to use it to feed his perverted delusions. 

Ok, she finished, "First off, he's not a magus." 

"Sorceror, then." 

"Not one of those, either. His name is Omigami Ranma." 

"Oh? Hark, for I shall smite the foul Omigami and-" 

"Shut up, Kuno. Think about his name for a moment." 

"What?" 

See? Told you, sent Ranma. 

----------------- 

Upon hearing about the attempted engagement of Ranma and Akane (Without hearing the whole story, of course), Kuno came charging into Ranma's class. "I will not per- urrk!" he said, as a wave of concussive ki slammed him against the wall. 

"Kuno," Ranma replied, "Bother me again, and I WILL turn you into a girl. You have been warned." With that, Ranma used his ki to throw Kuno out the window. "Sorry about the disruption, teacher." 

A few minutes later, Kuno returned. "Omigami Ranma, I will not allow you to-" 

"Kuno," Ranma said, glowing, "You have been warned." 

With that, Kuno found himself soaking wet... and female. His shriek could be heard blocks away. 

"Congratulations, Kuno. Welcome to the ranks of the victims of Jusenkyo. From now on, you will turn into a girl whenever you are hit with cold water. Hot water will temporarily reverse the change. You're lucky I decided not to lock you in that form." Again, Kuno found himself flying through the window. 

A few minutes later, Nabiki directed a thought at Ranma. YOU TURNED KUNO INTO A GIRL?!? 

Yep. I warned him. 

Yeah, but... 

Don't worry. He'll turn back with hot water. 

Oh. What's the point, then? 

It's not a cure. It's like Genma's curse. 

Oh. You mean hot and cold water? 

Yep. 

Oh. 

Anyway, we should be expecting Nerima to be getting a few new restraunts soon. 

Huh? 

Genma's order was to not contact my family. He said nothing about friends. 

Oh. 

Hehe. Genma's life is about to get... interesting. 

Preview of next chapter: 

In Juuban, Hino Rei felt the massive surge of ki and was very disturbed. After she did a fire reading, she was even MORE disturbed. What kind of message from the Gods was 'Yeay! 

Looks like Uncle Ranma's taking on a new student!!'? 

Document created with wvWare/wvWare version 0.6.7 -->


	2. Family

      The Art, Chapter 2

      By

      Aleh

      The silver-haired pseudo-god looked up at his feline

companion. "Do you see why I made that change?" he asked.

      "Not yet," the cat replied.

      "You will."

-----------------

      Things quickly settled into a routine in Nerima. Ranma

would go to school; Kuno would bug Ranma, thereby gaining a

new curse of some kind (up to and including baldness, a curse

which revealed a VERY interesting tattoo on the back of his

head), and Ranma would train Akane. The REAL fun, however,

didn't start for another week or so, when Ranma's friends 

started to show up.

-----------------

      "Nekohanten?" said Nabiki, looking at the resturaunt

which had just opened less than a hundred yards away from her

house. Of the businesses that had opened recently, it was the

LEAST wierd. The Pheonix Bar And Grill (The sign was in English)

wasn't even the wierdest... even if the waitresses there had

WINGS. Ucchan's Okonomiyaki was owned by a girl who, if you 

got her sufficiently angry, would hit you over the head with a 

giant spatula, wrap you up in rubber yakisoba noodles, or throw

explosive tempura flakes into your face. Needless to say, people

who went there didn't cause much trouble. The resturaunt made up

for its... odd owner through one major virtue: their food was

BEYOND merely good. Of the other two resturaunts, the Dragoon

Cafe (Don't ask how they delivered their food) had a friendly

rivalry going with Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty, owner of

the neighboring Ryuusobaya. Women tended to avoid that one.

All of them had one thing in common: they were owned and 

operated by people with grudges against Saotome Genma, most of

which had to do with his kidnapping of Ranma.

      "So, who ARE these people?" Nabiki asked Ranma.

      "Well, Ucchan is a childhood friend, from before I became

what I am today. Genma betrayed her back then. The Dragoons are

friends from another universe. I helped them out with a 

little... problem. As for the Amazons, Hououzanjin, and Musk,

Genma was stupid enough to kidnap me from a diplomatic 

conference I had arranged between the three peoples."

-----------------

      "Strike what I said earlier," said the cat, "He's beyond 

merely stupid."

      "Told you so."

-----------------

      Genma's life quickly became hell. While no one was 

willing to kill him, as doing so would leave Ranma in dire

straits, they had nothing against using the Full-body Cat's

Tongue, pain points, non-lethal poisons, or any of a hundred

other things. Genma was NOT happy. As he was lying on his futon,

Ranma and Nabiki were having another telepathic discussion.

      So, about that sister of yours, the one who found you...

      Yes?

      What was her name?

      Amaterasu.

      Nabiki was startled. A cry of 'Holy shit!!!' could be

heard across the town of Nerima.

      YOU'RE OMIGAMI AMATERASU'S YOUNGER BROTHER?!?

      Yep.

      Exscuse me a moment, she returned. From where he was

lying down, Ranma could hear Nabiki's voice trying to assure

Soun and Akane that she was alright.

-----------------

      "Okay... We've tried locking that moron in his cursed 

form, shaving his fur, and tattooing 'I'm a dishonorable piece 

of trash' on his butt. What next?"

      Dart and Herb looked at Ukyo slightly askew. "'I'm a

dishonorable piece of trash'?" Dart finally said.

      "Hey, it was the best I could come up with, okay?" Ukyo

remarked in her defence. "Besides, it's true."

      From where she was sitting, Xian Pu looked up. "Why no

sell moron to zoo? Can enroll in... what call it? Panda 

breeding program?"

      Herb shot that idea down. "The zoos have no interest in

bald, tatooed pandas."

      Xian Pu pouted. "Circus, then?"

      Dart didn't approve. "Circuses travel. We need him 

here."

      Xian Pu frowned. "Too, too bad. Maybe ask Hibachan."

      Saffron grinned. "The old ghoul? I thought she wanted

nothing to do with us."

      "No, no problem with wierd dragon-armored people or 

spatula-girl. Only with Musk and Hououzanjin. Want rescue

Ranma very, very much."

      "Well, at least she has one redeeming quality."

-----------------

      Back at the dojo, Akane's family was truly impressed

by her progress in the Art. Watching Akane and Ranma spar

now was like watching an episode of Dragonball Z, minus the

massive collateral damage.

      In Juuban, Hino Rei felt the massive surge of ki and was

very disturbed. After she did a fire reading, she was even 

MORE disturbed. What kind of message from the Gods was 'Yeay!

Looks like Uncle Ranma's taking on a new student!!'?

      At the Gates of Time, Sailor Pluto watched in horror as

the time stream fragmented, following many different paths,

almost none of which ended in Crystal Tokyo. No matter where

she looked, however, she couldn't see what was causing this,

and it wasn't even fragmenting from one point. It was almost

like... nah, no one is completely invisible to the Gates of

time, right? "What the hell is going on?!?"

-----------------

      "Nabiki?" Ranma asked at the breakfast table.

      "Yes, Ranma?"

      "Could I ask you a favor?"

      "What?"

      After Ranma told her, Nabiki's mouth hung open in shock.

-----------------

      Hino Rei was having a bad day. First, there was that odd

message. In and of itself, that was just plain wierd, not bad,

but then Setsuna told them about what was going on with the

time stream. When Rei told Setsuna of her fire reading, the

Time Senshi's reaction was totally uncharacteristic. Namely,

her face lost all traces of blood. In fact, Rei could swear

that she had heard Setsuna whisper "No..." before she 

disappeared. Then there was that odd... incident. Flipping

open her communicator, she pressed a few buttons. "Guys,"

she said, "We need to talk."

-----------------

      As the Inner Senshi sat around a table at Rei's shrine

(Usagi scarfing every piece of food in sight), Rei brought

their latest meeting to serious topics.

      "Guys," said Rei, "You won't believe what happened

today."

      "What?" asked Minako.

      "Well, it started when I sensed a massive ki."

      "How massive?" asked Ami.

      "Two words. Planetary destruction."

      Everyone gasped in shock. "Is that even possible?" Ami

finally managed to ask.

      "Grandfather has told me stories of martial artists who

had enough strength of ki to actually throw it as a blast. 

Until this morning, I never really believed it, but..."

      "We understand," said Usagi in her Serenity voice. "Do

you think that this... person is a threat?"

      "That's why I did a fire reading, but..." started the

confused shrine maiden.

      "But what?" asked Makoto.

      "Well, instead of a vision, as usual, I got a message."

      "A... message?" Minako asked in confusion.

      "Yes. And I quote: 'Yeay! Looks like Uncle Ranma's 

taking on a new student!'"

      "Uncle... Ranma?!?"

      "Oh, it gets wierder."

      "How?" asked Minako.

      "Well, shortly afterwords, some girl came walking up to

the shrine, wanting to leave an offering."

      "Oh?" said Ami.

      "Yes."

      "What's so unusual about that?"

      "It was a gift-wrapped gallon jar of pomegranite ice 

cream."

      "Ice cream?! Sugoi!" Three guesses who that was.

      Rei groaned. "So, she just put the thing down, complete

with a card that read-- and I quote -- 'Happy birthday, 

Amaterasu!' and walked off."

      "Okay," said Makoto, "That's odd, but why are you 

telling us?"

      "Because," replied Rei, "as she was leaving, a woman in

blue jeans and a t-shirt appeared out of a ray of sunlight,

yelled at the girl to thank her brother for the gift, and

promptly ate the ice cream. When she was done, she just

vanished into another ray of sunlight."

      "That's... odd," said Ami.

      "And then there was Pluto's reaction when I told her."

      "PLUTO SHOWED UP?!?" replied all of the Senshi.

      "Yes," Rei responded, "But when I told her, she was

horrified. It was..."

      The Senshi meeting continued like many before it, 

quickly degenerating into chaos.

-----------------

      The cat looked up to his companion. "The senshi's views

of the unusual are pretty skewed, aren't they?"

      "Perhaps, but remember that their only encounters with

Pluto so far have been in the Gates of Time, during the whole

Black Moon Family fiasco. Her showing is pretty unusual."

      "True."

-----------------

      "Ranma?" asked Nabiki.

      "Yes?"

      "Why was Amaterasu wearing blue jeans and a t-shirt?"

      "She likes them. Why else?"

      Nabiki groaned.

-----------------

      That night, Ranma spoke to Akane. "Could I ask a favor?"

      "What?"

      "Well..."

      After Ranma had finished explaining, Akane sweatdropped

heavily. "You've GOT to be kidding."

      "Nope."

-----------------

      Two days later, Ranma was trying to explain how to strike

from a distance to Akane.

      "So you see, it doesn't matter where you punch. One

location is as good as another; you just have to transfer the

energy from your strike to-- Akane, what's on your mind?"

      "Why are you doing this?" she asked impulsively.

      "Doing what?"

      "Teaching me!"

      Ranma's face didn't show any sign of reaction. "Because

I want to," he replied.

      "Huh?"

      Ranma sighed. "This damn bracer... it... you know what

it was designed to do, right?"

      "Yes, but what does that-"

      "I never told you HOW it works. It operates on the mind

of the wearer. I... try... try to resist, but... the best I 

could do is to... isolate my emotions from the rest of me. I 

know how I feel, but I don't... actually feel it, for lack of 

a better way to explain it."

      "And..."

      "Well, Akane, I enjoy teaching."

      "What? But if your emotions are..."

      "It's my way of compensating," he replied.

-----------------

      "Poor, poor Ranma!" Akane wailed. She was sitting in

Nabiki's room with her sisters, and had just finished telling

them what Ranma had said.

      "Hmm... this looks good," Nabiki said, looking up from

her copy of 'Torture Insturments of the Middle Ages'.

      "Oh my," said Kasumi after looking at the picture.

-----------------

      The cat turned to his companion. "Just how stupid does

Genma get?"

      The silver-haired pseudo-god looked up. "You'll see," he 

remarked.

-----------------

      The next day, on the way to school, Ranma collapsed.

      "Damn," he groaned, "It's starting."

-------------------

      Next time, in The Art:

      Our mysterious observers revealed!

      More Genma-bashing!

      The true horror of the Manacle of Hades!

      More Genma-bashing!

      The Senshi finally get involved!

      More Genma-bashing!

      Tuxedo Happi!

      More Genma-bashing!

      Nodoka!

      And did I mention more Genma-bashing?


	3. Chapter 3 Preview (Somewhat Updated Afte...

From his vantage point, the cat turned to his companion.  
"What's going on?"  
The silver-haired pseudo-god cocked an eyebrow. "I don't  
know. My brother never told me about this part."  
  
  
The Art, Chapter 3  
  
By  
  
Aleh  
  
  
"What is it, Ranma?" asked a concerned Akane.  
"Damn... it's starting," he groaned from where he had  
collapsed.  
"What is?"  
"The difference between our kind, Akane... You need   
outside infusions of... food... nourishment... to survive. We  
don't..."  
"What does that have to do with anything?"  
"What we... do need is spiritual energy. There... are  
many sources of it..."  
"And..."  
"In the old days... the primary source was from prayer...  
worship... Things... have... changed. Yggdrasil... solved...  
many... such... problems... by... providing... us... with... a  
steady... stream... of... power..."  
Akane nodded, starting to understand.  
"I... need more... than... most, because... ungh... I...  
use... so much... kinda... like... atheletes... need... more...  
food... These... cut... off... from..." With the last bit, Ranma   
passed out.  
  
-----------------  
  
In Juuban, a silver-haired young man was looking at a map.  
"Hmm... L-chan should be around here somewhere..." he mumbled.  
  
-----------------  
  
The cat nearly spat out his tea. "THAT'S YOU!!!!" he   
yelled.  
The silver-haired pseudo-god smirked. "It's the simulated  
version of me, anyway, yes."  
"Bu... but..."  
"Now do you understand?"  
"Not really..."  
"You will."  
"It's really annoying when you say that, you know."  
  
-----------------  
  
"What's wrong with Ranma?" asked Kasumi after Akane hauled  
him back.  
"I'm not sure," she replied, "I think I understand... but...  
if it's true..." She trailed off, looking out into space.  
  
-----------------  
  
Back in Juuban, a bald, fat panda with 'I'm a dishonorable   
piece of trash' tatooed on its butt was running for its life from  
several winged, armored figures and hardly looking where it was  
going. When it came across a silver-haired figure, it punched him  
out of its way. Big mistake.  
"CHAOS LANCE!"  
A bolt of raw magical energy escaped the silver-haired  
pseudo-god's hand and impacted on the panda, looking much like a  
bolt of silver lightning. The panda continued on its way,   
occasionally throwing off magical sparks. After what Genma had  
been through, ignoring the pain came easily.  
"Oh. Hi, Dart," the silver-haired pseudo-god said, glancing   
at one of the armored people.  
Dart broke off his persuit and landed by the figure. "Hey,  
Ranma," he said.  
  
-----------------  
  
The cat groaned. "YOU'RE USING MY POOL TO SIMULATE A REAL  
TIMELINE, AREN'T YOU?!?" he yelled, looking at his companion.  
The silver-haired pseudo-god nodded. "My brother's home  
reality, in fact."  
The cat just buried its head under its paws.  
  
-----------------  
  
When Genma returned to the Tendo dojo, he was still giving  
off sparks of raw magical energy. Ranma saw him from where he was  
lying down and chuckled weakly. "'kane..." he murmured, "tell...  
others... unlock... panda... curse..."  
Akane looked up from where she was maintaining a constant  
vigil over him. "Wha... what?" she exclaimed in surprise, "I don't  
understand!"  
Ranma's breathing was becoming labored. "'kane... curse...  
corrupted... 'niichan... lance... magic... change... not...   
const... const... constant anymore. Tell... others... unlock..."   
Ranma finally fell unconscious.  
  
-----------------  
  
In a place between realities, a cat was rolling over in  
laughter. "I can't believe it! You actually hit Genma with a  
Chaos Lance!"  
The silver-haired pseudo-god sheepishly scratched the back  
of his head. "Yes, well, I didn't know what it would do at the  
time. After all, the attack was still relatively new to me. I'd  
never attacked someone with it directly with it before, at least  
not anyone with a transformative curse."  
"Hey! I thought you hit your father with one!"  
"That worthless piece of trash isn't my father."  
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."  
"Besides, I hit the ground in front of him back then."  
The cat groaned again.  
  
-----------------  
  
After Akane called Khu Lon and told her what Ranma had   
said, the old ghoul was laughing like crazy. Ten minutes later,  
Genma's curse was unlocked. A cup of hot water later, and a  
bald, fat martial artist with a highly-distorted 'I'm a   
dishonorable piece of trash' tatooed on his butt was dancing   
about with Soun.  
"Oh, happy day! My sacrifices are finally paying off!"  
he yelled, "Soon our houses will be joined!"  
From where she was watching, Nabiki just shook her head  
sadly.  
  
-----------------  
  
The peace, or what passed for it, in the household   
lasted for all of five minutes. Kasumi, disgusted at her  
father and his friend, threw a bucket of water at them. Cold  
water. When it hit Genma, electricity cackled across his form,  
as he appeared to change in slow motion. The fat melted off of  
his body and he lost a few inches of height. His clothes   
morphed into a skintight bodysuit as he grew breasts, and his  
proportions took on a feminine cast. Most interestingly of all,  
pink hair sprouted from his skull, settling in a hairdo that  
reminded everyone of Vegeta from Dragonball Z.  
"Genma-Genma go and play!" s/he shouted, pouncing  
through a nearby wall in an extremely catlike fashion.  
His/her rampage ended in a half hour, when s/he nearly  
demolished the Ryuusobaya and Herb hit Genma-Genma with a blast  
of hot water.  
Khu Lon was laughing well into the night.  
  
-----------------  
  
Meanwhile, in the Kuno mansion...  
Tatewaki-chan sat with her bokken on her lap,   
contemplating the... err... changes s/he had been through lately.  
"This is all the fault of that cur, Omigami," he thought,  
"Now I must unseal the fearsome true power of the Kuno!"  
With that, s/he got up, pausing to scratch her lice-  
infested armpits, and walked to the basement. After passing   
through the extensive security, he entered a secret vault. "In  
the name of clan Kuno," he exclaimed, "I summon my ancestor!!!!"  
A pentigram suddenly appeared on the floor, and a blue  
flame appeared in the middle. "WHO DARES SUMMON ME?!?" boomed a  
voice, echoing across the vault.  
"I, rising star of the high school fencing world, undefeated  
captain of the Furinkan High kendo team, Kuno Tatewaki, the Blue  
Thunder!"  
"OH. YOU. JUST A MOMENT," echoed the voice, as the flame  
dissappeared. A few minutes later (which Kuno spent pacing), a  
figure rose from the floor at the center of the pentegram.  
"Hello," it said, "I'm Stupid."  
  
-------------------  
  
On his way back, Genma was hit by a lady wielding a ladle.  
"FIREBALL!" he, now a redheaded she in a really wierd outfit,  
yelled, toasting said ladle lady. "Heh," s/he said, admiring his/her  
handiwork, "That'll teach you to mess with Genma Inverse!"  
  
-------------------  
  
The cat fell over laughing. "Spring of Drowned Random Female Anime  
Character?" he asked, clutching his sides.  
The silver-haired pseudo-god just nodded in response as the cat's   
laughter redoubled.  
  
-------------------  
  
"COME ON OUT, FOUL KAMI!" a voice shouted from outside the Tendo  
Dojo, "COME ON OUT AND FACE THE WRATH OF STUPID, DEMON OF INCONTINENCE!"  
Inside, Ranma clutched his sides. "That... that's... incompotence,"  
Ranma gasped out to Akane, "You... you take... ca... care... of him...  
would you?"  
Akane just nodded, walking outside.  
  
-------------------  
  
"STUPID NO BAKA!!!"  
Three guesses who went flying over Tokyo?  
  
-------------------  
  
"Really," Akane said, wiping the lime-flavored Jell-o off of her  
arm, "What kind of attack was THAT?"  
Kasumi casually wiped some chocolate pudding off of the compound  
wall. "Oh my," she said, "I think he meant 'Desert Storm'."  
  
------------------- 


End file.
